phew

I am tired but not sleepy. I am no longer a freshmen!! Woohoo only 4 more semesters to go. I am so very excited to be as far as I am. nothing much is really new around here. Alyssa is a very interesting lil lady. Austin is acting like a 9 year old. Asking questions about everything I say to do. Zachery is trying to be super brother... and at the same time put the babies in his closet cause they wouldnt stop shutting his tv off. *rolls eyes* Zander is just being Zander.. Very laid back and LOVES to make Alyssa scream.. He will take a toy and run his ass of laughing the whole time. While his sister is chasing him down. He will then throw it and she goes for the toy and he giggles. Maybe he is playing fetch with her?

Kryptonite

I cant seem to turn my brain off tonight... I feel like I dont know who I am. I am sitting here eating cause 1 small thing made me sad. I don't want people to say, You dont look pregnant! I honestly dont think I look pregnant! Tuesday 1 of my instructors made a comment about me being in school full time and working full time while pregnant..... I said I am not pregnant thank you. Then tonight I had a large slumber party.. And one of my best friends children said "Crystal are you having a baby" I honestly dont think I look pregnant but I am finding it annoying. I did quit my job yesterday... Im starting to question school... Cause honestly people think I rock.... but I am starting to lose my grip on everything I am taking on.. Guess What!!! Im not as great because no I cant handle it.. and then I feel like I am letting people down... so I decided to sit here and drink while eating anything I can find.. I never thought at the age of 29 I wouldnt know who I am... or what I am suppose to be doing.

So now I ramble on... I am embarrassed to say all of this but am sick of being quiet. I felt for once I actually felt I got my head out of my ass and I am doing what ever it takes... But I am not supergirl... and I want sooooo badly to be super girl....

Mothers day is approaching, and I took a moment tonight and stared at these amazing lil people in my life. I am blessed to be their mommy. For every moment of every day I am thankful for them. They make me complete and show me to smile. They give me the strength that makes me never give up. It truly is amazing on how someone that depends on you can give you the strength to move mountains yet they give you the tears of pure joy. I need to take a few more moments out of my day and cherish the people that saved my life in so many ways. They gave me the life that is full of joy.

Thank you kiddos I love you with every ounce of my heart!

Operation Stop Smoking

I have decided to stop smoking. I am actually very excited. I miss how amazing it felt to not have your chest hurt in the morning. I also have 4 amazing reasons to quit. And honestly I dont want them to pick up the habit themselves later on.

I started taking Chantix today. I was scared at first and am now just eager to get this over with. I have read a few things about side effects. I reminded myself that almost all drugs/scripts have some sort of side effects. I just hope I keep friends through this whole process lol. If I am really mean I am sorry and I love you!

TESTING come on font you have to change so I can get credit for class!!

Whatever Wed!

Oh mylanta I am very tired today. Last night I got 30 minutes of sleep. I was up working on Algeblah until 12pm when the site closed the assignment. Better luck next time I guess. Working has been interesting. I have actually started getting better at my job. OR so I thought as today was a frustrating day which then led to me leaving work early because Alyssa is sick. She is feeling a tad better now that I gave her a breathing treatment.

Tomorrow shall be a (fill in the blank with a AMAZING WONDERFUL SPIFFY WORD)!!

Don't forget my Myspace if your not my friend already.

This past Friday was the mother son dance. We had an amazing time. I really enjoy doing things alone with the boys. And I feel they actually enjoy it more and are thankful for some alone time with me. I started back to work Today. Now I have many fears going through my head. How in the world am I going to do this? With work, my kiddos, and School.... My plan is not to realize everything I am doing. Just get it done! I also have the motivation of my kids. My boys are so proud of me for going back to school. Austin even ran and told his teach at school the day after I told him. I think the biggest reward in life is my children being proud of me.
I am thankful to have such an amazing family. Even tho I could beat Craig upside his head! He still loves me for who I am. Well I didnt plan on this being all mushy. So here is a picture that brought a tear to my eyes.