Woohoo Wed

Happy Hump day! Today is going to be an intersting day. I woke up in such a crappy mood. I had to step back and figure out the root of my grumpyness. I am relieved to say I am ALL better now! The twins are enjoying some time watching backyardagins. and I am enjoying them watching it. Its allowing me 20 mins to play online.

I am excited to say Craig made the deans list again last semester. I am so proud of him. Yet a piece of me is so jealous that I don't have the time to get the grades he does. I am forced to take some of my classes online because they are not offered at the campus. So attempting to finish homework at home with twin 2 year olds isnt as easy as you might think.

Lets go out

This morning I took the car load of kids to school. Came back and picked up Craig and the twinkers then headed off to Nikkis. I am always excited to go over and hang out. She is one of the few friends that I have that their house is child proof. Granted the twinkers can climb gates like its nothing. As Nikki also started looking at Alyssa crazy when you said no get down over and over and over again.

However the hardest part about going out with the twins is their ability to TRASH a house in 5 mins. I was trying to stay on top of it. And giving them crackers... was probably a bad idea (sorry Nikki Lol) after an hour out of the house I was already ready to pack up and come home. Its so stressful having twin two year olds out in public. Craig and I didnt take them out that often when they were younger cause it was overwhelming. So they never really learned how to act in public. ANd now I feel like we are paying for it. But I dont know how to teach them to act in public when I dislike taking them out because they dont act right... Its a circle of questions where the answer is yet another question.

Snow day

The snow started last night and I just knew it. Yup we got tons of snow dumped on us. Which is kinda lame because it was just starting to melt again from the last storm. Which also results in the kids home for a snow day. So on top of my own 4 kiddos my friends needed a sitter so they can go to work. So my house is a circus today. 7 kids hanging out with me today.
I had to miss class today also because my father is getting surgery and my mother is the one that watches the twins while I am in school. At some point today I gotta fit in my homework. But as for now I am gonna go play with some kids =)

phew

I am tired but not sleepy. I am no longer a freshmen!! Woohoo only 4 more semesters to go. I am so very excited to be as far as I am. nothing much is really new around here. Alyssa is a very interesting lil lady. Austin is acting like a 9 year old. Asking questions about everything I say to do. Zachery is trying to be super brother... and at the same time put the babies in his closet cause they wouldnt stop shutting his tv off. *rolls eyes* Zander is just being Zander.. Very laid back and LOVES to make Alyssa scream.. He will take a toy and run his ass of laughing the whole time. While his sister is chasing him down. He will then throw it and she goes for the toy and he giggles. Maybe he is playing fetch with her?

Kryptonite

I cant seem to turn my brain off tonight... I feel like I dont know who I am. I am sitting here eating cause 1 small thing made me sad. I don't want people to say, You dont look pregnant! I honestly dont think I look pregnant! Tuesday 1 of my instructors made a comment about me being in school full time and working full time while pregnant..... I said I am not pregnant thank you. Then tonight I had a large slumber party.. And one of my best friends children said "Crystal are you having a baby" I honestly dont think I look pregnant but I am finding it annoying. I did quit my job yesterday... Im starting to question school... Cause honestly people think I rock.... but I am starting to lose my grip on everything I am taking on.. Guess What!!! Im not as great because no I cant handle it.. and then I feel like I am letting people down... so I decided to sit here and drink while eating anything I can find.. I never thought at the age of 29 I wouldnt know who I am... or what I am suppose to be doing.

So now I ramble on... I am embarrassed to say all of this but am sick of being quiet. I felt for once I actually felt I got my head out of my ass and I am doing what ever it takes... But I am not supergirl... and I want sooooo badly to be super girl....

Mothers day is approaching, and I took a moment tonight and stared at these amazing lil people in my life. I am blessed to be their mommy. For every moment of every day I am thankful for them. They make me complete and show me to smile. They give me the strength that makes me never give up. It truly is amazing on how someone that depends on you can give you the strength to move mountains yet they give you the tears of pure joy. I need to take a few more moments out of my day and cherish the people that saved my life in so many ways. They gave me the life that is full of joy.

Thank you kiddos I love you with every ounce of my heart!

Operation Stop Smoking

I have decided to stop smoking. I am actually very excited. I miss how amazing it felt to not have your chest hurt in the morning. I also have 4 amazing reasons to quit. And honestly I dont want them to pick up the habit themselves later on.

I started taking Chantix today. I was scared at first and am now just eager to get this over with. I have read a few things about side effects. I reminded myself that almost all drugs/scripts have some sort of side effects. I just hope I keep friends through this whole process lol. If I am really mean I am sorry and I love you!